Date finished: May 23, 2019
99 Percent Mine, Sally Thorne
Excuse me while my eyes roll all the way into the back of my head. 99 Percent Mine was cheesy, somewhat problematic, predictable, clichéd, and while I enjoyed Thorne’s debut, The Hating Game, I was disappointed by her newest romance.
Darcy Barrett, her twin brother Jamie, and their childhood neighbor Tom Valeska have been best friends for years. They understand each other’s quirks, have each other’s backs, and, as you might have expected, Darcy and Tom have been secretly in love with each other pretty much the whole time.
Thorne’s main character, Darcy, is cute but predictable: she’s mean to “boys” that show up in the bar where she works not dressed in the appropriate all-leather biker attire, she travels as an escape for her problems, she relies on candy and wine at the end of a bad day, and she verbally sexually abuses her male best friend.
I’m all for a good enemies-to-lovers romance, but Darcy and Tom aren’t really enemies, and the only thing he’s done wrong is not reciprocate Darcy’s completely inappropriate advances. They’ve been friends for years, but after he confesses his love to her and she subsequently flees the country, Tom meets someone else and gets engaged. Despite her rebuff and his choice to marry someone one, Darcy can’t shut up about his muscles, his butt, and how perfect he is. It’s supposed to be cute because she’s the jilted female who really is in love with him, but if the roles were reversed it would be creepy as hell and we’d all hate Tom.
Tom’s in town to help Darcy renovate her inheritance: an old house that her grandma lived in forever. Darcy and Jamie have hired Tom’s new building company to do all the work, and Darcy decides she’s going to live on-site with Tom and help him work on her house, despite having no previous experience and also not being covered by Tom’s insurance (she just brushes that one right under the rug).
At this point, we learn that Tom is no longer engaged, but that he chose not to tell Darcy so she would leave him alone while they worked on the house (this was obviously a great idea). After finally telling her, she basically attacks the man and tries to force him to “get in [her].” Tom politely declines. However, Tom is attracted to her, and after agreeing to let her work on the house with his team, he then decides that she can’t possibly stay because having her around is just too distracting for the strong boss man. As if it’s her fault for sweating and arousing him. *barf*
When the pair finally get together (this is a spoiler but, come on, you knew they were going to), they’re the most obnoxious couple ever written. The lines they spew to each other about being together and protecting each other and traveling entire hemispheres to find one another are downright laughable, and I really struggled to finish this one.
While The Hating Game was cute (though I’m not a big fan of the enemies-to-lovers trope), 99 Percent Mine fell well short of the mark. I won’t be recommending this one.
Photo courtesy @books.donuts.darkroast (Instagram)